Upon returning to the States back in September, I fully expected to be returning to Sierra Leone sometime at the beginning of this year.
Every time someone asked me if and when I was going back to Sierra Leone, I would get this uneasy feeling in my gut as I gave my response, “The plan is to go back in January.” After a couple months of telling people this, I started paying attention to that little feeling that came along with those words, and decided to pray with a couple of my mentors about it.
After a lot of prayer, I’ve decided that there’s no need to rush this thing. After ministering alone in a foreign country for three and a half months, I’ve concluded that I don’t want to be on the mission field by myself again. I think getting the right team together before going back is well worth the wait. And I’m willing to wait however long it takes in order to be with the right people.
And if I am going to be completely honest, I feel like the vision in my heart to see children become who they were created to be could happen anywhere, not just Sierra Leone. There are children all over the world that need the tender love and care, and good discipleship that I desire to offer. I do want to return to Sierra Leone at some point, but I am open to go other places before returning to Sierra Leone if the opportunity were to present itself.
For a while, I was asking the Lord, “Where do I go?” and “When do I go?” But these aren’t necessarily the right questions for me to be asking right now. I now am asking, “Who are the ones with whom I get to do life? Who are the people that want to go to the front lines of this spiritual battle with me? Who are the ones with whom I love to worship and pray?”
Kingdom Family is so valuable. Right now, I’ve got a pretty good community in Atlanta, and I don’t think it’s worth giving up. I don’t know a whole lot about what’s next, but I do think I’ll be here a little longer as long as my community is here.
As hard as it was at first for me to be still and to come to grips with the fact that I wasn’t going back overseas for a while, I’ve really come to a place where I crave the Lord more than I ever have. His presence is life to me. I long to be with Him, and to worship Him.
I think it was God’s plan all along for me to have a season of just being with Him, so that everything I do flows out of my adoration for Him. And I have complete peace about where I’m at, and my heart is so very thankful.
Recently, I have been nannying during the week for two sweet girls, and on Sundays, I’ve been helping get a children’s ministry started at my church, Lifegate International. And I’m learning the value of living one day at a time, moment by moment, enjoying this journey with the Lord.